Attention needs to feel safe. If as a child our attention from our primary caregivers did not feel safe, then we become predisposed to unsafe kinds of attention. If the attention we got was safe then we feel more inclined to find that kind of…
The need to compare inherently comes from a desire to evaluate or measure our self-worth. It is not in any way conducive to our self-worth. If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree then it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.
It seems that the only way to get more out of any experience is to let go of the desire to get anything out of it at all. Suddenly the moment is thrown wide open, free of all our directing and narrowing that comes from our preexisting expectations imposed on it.